“Growing up is learning to say aloud what our hearts were taught to keep quiet.”
What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?
When I was growing up, there were certain things we simply didn’t say.
“I’m tired.”
“I’m hurt.”
“I need you.”
“I’m proud of you.”
And sometimes, even “I love you.”
Not because we didn’t feel them. We felt them deeply. We just had different ways of showing them.
Love was a warm meal waiting on the table.
Care was someone quietly saving the last piece of your favourite sweet.
Worry sounded like, “Take your sweater. It might get cold.”
Feelings were there ,but they often travelled disguised as instructions, silence, or small acts of service.
As I grew older, I realised I was doing the same thing.
If I was upset, I would say, “I’m fine.”
If someone helped me, I would smile instead of saying how much it meant.
And when I loved someone, I assumed they already knew.
Then life taught me something simple.
People shouldn’t always have to guess what lives inside our hearts.
So, one thing I do completely differently now is I say the things I was once taught to leave unsaid.
I tell my family, “I love you.”
I say, “I missed you.”
I apologise when I am wrong.
I tell someone when I am proud of them.
And when I am not okay, I try not to hide behind that automatic “I’m fine.”
It felt strange at first.
Almost uncomfortable.
But with time, I discovered that words don’t make love weaker or less dignified.
Sometimes, they make love easier to receive.
I still carry the beautiful lessons I was raised with the quiet care, the strength, the respect.
But I’ve added a few words to them.
Because perhaps growing up isn’t about rejecting the way we were raised.
Maybe it’s about keeping the love we inherited and finding better ways to express it.
And that, for me, has been one of the gentlest changes of adulthood.

4 responses to “The Things We Were Never Taught to Say…”
This is beautifully written…. I personally do use the phrase “I love You” sparingly because that’s how it should be…but for the others, yes i do use them, from the sorry’s to the concerns or missing someone…I make sure…if I feel it i say it.
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“Thank you so much ❤️ I really loved what you said—‘if I feel it, I say it.’ There’s something beautiful about that. And I agree, some words are precious precisely because we don’t use them casually. But when the heart truly feels something, it deserves to be heard. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful perspective. 😊❤️”
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Thanks for sharing and giving voice to express your inner genuine feelings.
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“Thank you so much for these beautiful words. ❤️ I’m glad the post resonated with you. Sometimes all we need is a little space to say what we truly feel and I’m grateful we can share that space here. 😊🌷”
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