The Things We Were Never Taught to Say…

β€œGrowing up is learning to say aloud what our hearts were taught to keep quiet.”

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

When I was growing up, there were certain things we simply didn’t say.

β€œI’m tired.”

β€œI’m hurt.”

β€œI need you.”

β€œI’m proud of you.”

And sometimes, even β€œI love you.”

Not because we didn’t feel them. We felt them deeply. We just had different ways of showing them.

Love was a warm meal waiting on the table.
Care was someone quietly saving the last piece of your favourite sweet.
Worry sounded like, β€œTake your sweater. It might get cold.”

Feelings were there ,but they often travelled disguised as instructions, silence, or small acts of service.

As I grew older, I realised I was doing the same thing.

If I was upset, I would say, β€œI’m fine.”

If someone helped me, I would smile instead of saying how much it meant.

And when I loved someone, I assumed they already knew.

Then life taught me something simple.

People shouldn’t always have to guess what lives inside our hearts.

So, one thing I do completely differently now is I say the things I was once taught to leave unsaid.

I tell my family, β€œI love you.”

I say, β€œI missed you.”

I apologise when I am wrong.

I tell someone when I am proud of them.

And when I am not okay, I try not to hide behind that automatic β€œI’m fine.”

It felt strange at first.

Almost uncomfortable.

But with time, I discovered that words don’t make love weaker or less dignified.

Sometimes, they make love easier to receive.

I still carry the beautiful lessons I was raised with the quiet care, the strength, the respect.

But I’ve added a few words to them.

Because perhaps growing up isn’t about rejecting the way we were raised.

Maybe it’s about keeping the love we inherited and finding better ways to express it.

And that, for me, has been one of the gentlest changes of adulthood.

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