Healing through words πŸ˜„

    My Mind Needs a Bouncer: No Entry for Uninvited Worries. πŸ˜‚

    How do you stay resilient in hard times?

    “Not every thought deserves VIP access to your mind. Some worries need nothing more than a polite NO ENTRY sign!”

    Last Sunday, at precisely 2:14 AM, my brain decided to organise an uninvited late-night festival.

    On the main stage was a highlight reel of every embarrassing thing I’d said since 2014. In the VIP lounge, a full-blown panic party was underway about my bank account, career, family drama and whether I’d remembered to lock the front door.

    I lay staring at the ceiling, exhausted, wondering why I couldn’t simply be stronger.

    And then it hit me.

    My brain didn’t need more willpower. It needed a bouncer.

    Think about a good nightclub bouncer. He doesn’t argue with unruly guests, panic over the crowd or get personally offended by every disturbance. He simply stands behind the velvet rope, looks at the chaos and says, “Sorry, you’re not on tonight’s guest list.”

    When hard times hit, most of us do exactly the opposite.

    We throw open the doors of our minds.

    We give anxiety the best booth, hand the microphone to worst-case scenarios and allow self-doubt to run up a bill on our emotional credit card. By morning, we’re completely exhausted, and the unwanted guests are still dancing!

    For years, I thought resilience meant being some kind of superhero who never felt fear, sadness or overwhelm.

    I’ve gradually realised that resilience isn’t about having zero bad days. It’s about learning not to give every negative thought unlimited access to your mind.

    Of course, life will throw difficult seasons at us. Bills will arrive, plans will collapse, people will disappoint us, and some days will feel like an uphill sprint in wet socks.

    We cannot control every situation, but we can learn how much space we allow it to occupy in our heads.

    So, I’ve decided to appoint an inner bouncer. His duties are quite straightforward:

    1. Check IDs at the door.

    Whenever a worrying thought arrives, ask: “Is this helping me solve a problem, or is it simply ruining my day?”

    If there’s nothing useful to offer, it doesn’t get the VIP treatment.

    2. Allow emotions in, but don’t hand them the microphone.

    Sadness, disappointment, frustration and fear are human. They deserve to be acknowledged, not thrown out. But they don’t get to control the music, the lights and the entire evening.

    3. Enforce closing time.

    At 2 AM, the club is closed. No midnight meetings with imaginary disasters, no financial audits and absolutely no replaying conversations from ten years ago.

    Tomorrow is another day. Worry can come back during office hours.

    Perhaps that’s what resilience really looks like.

    Not pretending everything is fine, not forcing ourselves to smile through every difficulty, but learning to protect the little peace we have while finding the strength to deal with whatever life sends our way.

    And if life insists on creating another scene, well, my inner bouncer is now on permanent duty.

    After all, life may have unlimited guest passes, but my mind is no longer an all-you-can-enter nightclub. πŸ˜‚

    40 responses to “My Mind Needs a Bouncer: No Entry for Uninvited Worries. πŸ˜‚”

    4. Well written, I think we all need an inner bouncer. The trouble is that some of our worries arrive disguised as VIP guests, and we keep letting them in! Perhaps the first lesson in resilience is learning when to show them the exit.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Oh,love that image. πŸ˜„ The 2:14 AM shift is brutal, because the bouncer is asleep and every worry gets in without ID. For me, writing it down usually works better than fighting it. Once a thought is on paper, it stops pacing the dance floor and can wait until morning.

        Like

        Reply

    10. Fun post. I agree some anxiety is inevitable, like its an unavoidable byproduct of traversing rough uphill terrain. We’ve got to hang in there and keep starting new every day to get to where we want to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Thank you so much, and well said. 🀍 I love the image of anxiety as a byproduct of climbing rough terrain. It makes it feel less like a flaw and more like proof that we’re moving forward. Starting fresh each day is such a gentle way to keep going. Wishing you a steady climb, and thanks for the kind words. 🌿

        Like

        Reply

    11. Hilarious text and great metaphors!

      I believe we all agree that thoughts definitely have a life of their own and that not all are created equal:
      Some thoughts might be stopped as not invited to the party, though that seems already a considerable achievement.
      But what about a complete silence- NO thoughts: Is that brain death or Patanjali’ s: β€˜ Yoga cittivritta nirodha’ (1 sloka of yoga sutras)?.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Thank you, so glad it made you 😊 And what a wonderful question. I’d like to think it’s the difference between absence and stillness.

        Brain death is the lights going out, while chitta vritti nirodha feels more like the lights staying on and the room becoming quiet. The awareness is fully there, it just isn’t chasing every passing thought. Maybe the uninvited guests don’t get banned from the party, they just stop getting the attention they were after.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    12. Oh this is a riot Meetaji! One I very well earned and one I needed today!

      Looks like I had apponinted a bouncer for my mind and forgot thanking him for his help all this time!

      This post resonated with me so much. Before donning the invisible garb of a wannabe saint, I pretty did this all the time. The same old 2 am wake ups to wash every little thing I had been facing in the washing machine we are born with: our minds. And the exhaustion… Oof. Thank God to the little bouncer, the pub closes by 9 pm these days and no sleazy dances till the alarm rings by skimpily clad thoughts and blunders of the past! What a blessing! And hey there is no bar in the pub! Hozzatt! 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      • Haha, Lalitha, I’m so glad it gave you a good laugh today! πŸ˜„ Your bouncer deserves a raise (and maybe a thank-you note)! The “no bar in the pub” line made my day. 🀣
        I can imagine those 2 am wash cycles for the mind, so tiring. It’s wonderful that you’ve found a way to quiet the late-night crowd. Thank you for sharing this so openly, and here’s to peaceful nights and a pub that closes on time. 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    13. You’ve actually hired a bouncer for your mind! I love it!πŸ™Œ

      That 2:14 AM festival sounds awfully familiar. The brain seems to have a special talent for organising these events just when we’re trying to sleep. And why is it that embarrassing conversations from ten years ago suddenly become headline entertainment? 🀣

      But I absolutely love the idea of telling worry to come back during office hours! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

      Just one question: does your bouncer accept applications for overtime? I think I need to hire this bouncer too. Although I suspect Sir Rambo will demand VIP access, biscuits included! πŸ‘‘πŸΎπŸ˜‚ I have a few troublesome thoughts who seem to think they own the place! πŸ˜…

      Another brilliant and relatable read, my friend. Thanks for the laugh! β€οΈπŸ€—

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Haha, I’m so glad you enjoyed it πŸ˜„ That 2:14 AM festival really does have the best timing, and the ten-year-old embarrassing conversations always get top billing. 🀣

        I think your bouncer would happily take overtime, as long as Sir Rambo gets his VIP pass and a few biscuits. πŸ‘‘πŸΎ And yes, please do hire one for your troublesome thoughts. “Come back during office hours” works wonders, at least some nights πŸ˜‚

        Thank you for such a fun, warm comment.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        • Meeta! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Well, if Sir Rambo gets his VIP pass and biscuits, I think we’ve got ourselves a deal! Although I suspect he’ll spend more time supervising the bouncer than actually keeping those troublesome thoughts out. He takes his royal duties very seriously, you know! πŸ‘‘πŸΎπŸ€£

          And I’m glad to hear the office-hours rule works, at least some nights. I’ll keep practising it, although some of my thoughts seem to have absolutely no respect for working hours! Hahahaha!

          Thanks for your lovely reply, Meeta and you are very welcome! You certainly gave me another giggle! β€οΈπŸ€—

          Liked by 1 person

        • Hahaha, thank you! πŸ˜‚β€οΈ Sir Rambo clearly has his priorities straight: supervise the staff, collect the biscuits, nap on the job. Honestly, that’s the dream career! πŸ‘‘πŸΎ And yes, my thoughts hold meetings at 2 AM and never send a calendar invite. πŸ˜„ Always a giggle chatting with you πŸ€—

          Liked by 1 person

        • You are very welcome sweetheart and yes, he knows exactly what he wants and yes, indeed it is! hahaha

          Aah yes, those unplanned meetings. I know them too well. 🀣

          Thanks sweetie. Same here. πŸ€—

          Liked by 1 person

      • Aww, thank you sherry ,πŸ˜„ Two likes from one reader is the best kind of math. And please thank your husband for lending his ears! πŸ˜‚ The fact that you read it aloud to him is the highest compliment a post can get. πŸ†β€οΈ

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    16. through the humor…and with not getting past that bouncer…πŸ˜‹
      well said, Meeta … protecting that peace is more important … no compromises… πŸ€πŸ™( we try we try πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚lol…)

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

        • imagine if we got a salary for this … πŸ₯΄πŸ˜‚… the world will be such a great place and we’ll all be super rich…πŸ˜‚
          my pleasure, Meeta … πŸ€πŸ™

          Liked by 1 person

        • Whao , a salary for peace-protecting and bouncer duty would be the dream job πŸ˜‚ I’d happily clock in daily, with a coffee break for the 2 AM thoughts. πŸ’° Thank you for the lovely chat, dear. It’s always a pleasure πŸ™

          Liked by 1 person

    Leave a Reply